Image by Shoot Art, Not Each Other via Flickr
Have you ever had a moment where you’re out somewhere and you see someone that’s attractive? Perhaps you decide to go up to them and start a conversation. The next thing you know, they are being rude and condescending to you. Instantly, you are turned off by this person. It’s amazing how someone’s attitude and behavior can drastically change how we see them.
Don’t be one of these people.
That being said, I encourage you to treat both others and yourself with respect. Let’s explore the idea of respect a bit more.
Respect yourself
This one seems pretty obvious, but the truth of the matter is that we don’t always do this. What does respecting oneself entail exactly? Well, to start, let us consider one of the definitions of respect. According to dictionary.com to respect someone means “to show regard or consideration for” them. In essence, you acknowledge him or her as an individual or even “hold [her] esteem or honor.”
Applying this to real life, in order to respect yourself you need to value yourself just as much as you would value someone else. If you don’t value yourself as a person then you don’t respect yourself either. In order to respect yourself you need to treat yourself properly. This could mean that instead of knocking yourself down after making a mistake you learn from it and move forward. For more information about moving forward in life, you can refer to a previous entry on how to just keep going.
Why should we respect ourselves? Well, why not? We are born of the same species as our peers and there is nothing inherently wrong with us. You’ll also feel better about yourself if you value and treat yourself with respect. This relates to the definition of respect as holding in esteem or honor. As a result, you’ll have a more positive self-image and people will be drawn to you.
When you respect yourself, others will respect you
Do you remember that childhood bully, the aggressive boss, or the spoiled child? You would certainly be a nice person to tolerate any transgressions that could result from this toxic sort of relationship dynamic, but allowing the person to run you over is just not good for you in the long run. If you let the spoiled child have whatever she wants, she’ll expect to get whatever she wants and push you every time. If you let the bully toss you around, he’ll keep doing it because he can get away with his behavior. If you let the aggressive boss disrespect you and talk down to you, he or she will keep treating you in this way.
In these circumstances it is important to communicate to the other person that you respect yourself as an individual and that he or she should too. This could happen in various ways. You could say something directly, push back when they are railing at you, be passive aggressive (not recommended), or even make them look like a fool in front of other people. Ideally, you can communicate this to them in a respectful way though.
When you show them that their behavior is not tolerable, there is a good chance that they will discontinue acting that way. If they refuse to behave that way and will continue to disrespect you, then choose not to interact with them if you have that choice. If you are unable to sever ties to the person, because they are related or are your employer, keep trying different things or switch jobs if it gets to be really bad. There is almost always a way to get through and reach out to a person.
After these people see that you respect yourself, they’ll be more likely to treat you in the same way.
Respect Others
This seems pretty simple, but is a lot more involved than you would think. For example, if you are late to a date, you are disrespecting the other person (unless it’s culturally acceptable or normal to be late). You are communicating to them that you’re not organized and do not value their time.
If a man grabs another woman in an inappropriate way, or even if a woman does it to a man, the person is disrespecting the other individual. Dictionary.com writes that to respect someone you must “refrain from intruding upon or interfering with” them. When you cross these boundaries you are essentially violating someone’s personal space. Know where the boundaries stand and respect them.
Just as you value yourself, value others as well. Again, we’re all of the same species with different variations. There is nothing inherently superior or inferior about each one of us. Even if there were, there’s no reason to disrespect someone anyway.
When you respect others, they will respect you
After acknowledging the other person and communicating to them that you value them as a person, they will be likely to respect you as well. Recognizing that people are people regardless of their background is imperative to garnering mutual respect for each other. Likewise, if you treat others well they will be more likely to treat you well. Many people are followers and tend to gauge how the other person is going to react to them, before they decide on how to behave toward that other person.
Set the example. Take a step forward and treat them with respect first. Often you’ll be surprised by the responses you’ll get. Sometimes you might not receive the desired reaction and that’s ok. Be the “better” person and treat them with respect anyway. In doing this you will lead by example and help to change the world little by little. As more and more people behave this way, we’ll see a much larger and more positive impact.
